Thursday, June 12, 2014

jon snow is not really a part of this post.

today's blog is brought to you by our guest blogger, jon snow, ned stark's bastard.


just kidding. cute action figures can't blog.

to totally preface this, i just watched the red wedding.

i'm oddly calm. probably because i knew who all was going to die.

but i'm not here to blog about the red wedding, i'm here to blog about BIG KID LIFE

BIG KID LIFE

that's as big as the font goes, and i must say, i'm disappointed. but not as disappointed as i was when i had to blog for two years on wordpress.

so now that i've crashed my van into a guard rail (i might remind you, at no fault on my own) and am waiting at home while it gets estimated three hours away, there are a few options that are ensuing.

if you didn't know i crashed my van into a guard rail, the thrilling tale is here.

anyway. ensuing options.

1. my parents pay for the damages if they aren't too costly. which is funny, because my van is worth maybe eight hundred dollars.
2. they say NOPE SHIT'S TOO EXPENSIVE.

if option one happens, we go back to wixom and pick up my van next week.

if option two happens, I GET TO BUY A CAR.

RIGHT ON, TOTALLY FUN STUFF, RIGHT?

i mean, it would be fun stuff, if i wasn't planning on using my saved up money for graduate school on another continent. and that i owe seven thousand dollars in student loans.

i cannot complain about my student loans. they are the lowest i have ever seen in this generation and for that i am eternally grateful that i can pay them in one swoop.

(i need to step back and check my privilege for a hot second. okay.)

i like the idea of getting a car. i really do. the whole way home i was looking at used fords because if you don't drive a ford in my family, a demon will come in the middle of the night, possess you and cause you to murder everyone you love and then set fire to your house.

we're ford people.

looking at used cars is kind of fun. i'm falling in love with an eight thousand dollar ford escape. my dad wants me to get a cheaper one, but it's a stick, and i haven't driven a stick in like... two years.

and even when i was driving a stick, i certainly wasn't good at it.

but like i said, i like the idea of getting a car. all on my own! my own car in my own name!

but that leaves the problem of like... once i pay for it, how do i afford the insurance? the license plate? AND GRADUATE SCHOOL NOW THAT I SPENT MY GRADUATE SCHOOL MONEY ON A USED CAR?

the solution: get a real job!

(do you hear crickets? i hear crickets.)

so i have all this stuff in the attic that i brought back from my alma apartment that's just waiting for me to get a real apartment.

my kroger paycheck is like LOLZ YOU REALLY WANNA MOVE OUT OF YOUR PARENTS' HOUSE?

i love my parents, but yes. yes i do.

fortunately, THERE IS A LIGHT AT THE END OF THIS TUNNEL!

it might be a candle and not like... a spotlight, but it's there.

my wonderful friend erika has this pretty sweet job at ferris state in big rapids michigan. and she's leaving. and she was like, you should totally take my job i'll tell my supervisors about you.

which she did and the other day they asked if i was still interested.

OF COURSE I AM!

so now i have this grand vision of me owning this used escape and loving it and naming it and putting my michigan sticker on it and living in big rapids in an apartment with hamlet like a REAL PERSON.

it's such a nice vision.

the only problem with this vision is that if it implodes and i'm still working at kroger in august, i'm going to be like, the saddest person ever.

you know, it's really hard to leave college and establish yourself without having any prior job experience in the real world of real people. like, you don't want to be that person that moves back in with your parents.

but here i am, in my bedroom at home, in my armchair, blogging and working a menial job at kroger.

it'll get better, i'm sure.

not that home isn't good. my mattress is amazing, my armchair is pretty much the best thing ever, and my mom cooks for me.

let's be real, when i get my own apartment, i'm going to be eating kraft mac n cheese every single night.

isn't that a great image.


OM NOM NOM.

big kid life will come to me eventually.

i mean, it's kind of halfway here, right?

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