Friday, January 1, 2016

the list that wrapped up 2015.

2015 started out almost the same way that 2016 did. i was laying on my parents' couch in the basement with my boyfriend lying on top of me and lamenting that i had once again not completed my new year's resolution, which as always, was to blog more.


i can come up with a lot of excuses as to why i didn't blog more, the most obvious one being that i now have three jobs, but i'll spare you.

this year i'm not resolving to blog more, but i will try to anyway. instead, i will have three simple goals.

goal number one: drink more water.

goal number two: wear more lipstick.

goal number three: frighten more men.

i normally think about this post all of december. it kind of falls into the whole meme that's like "it's december and you just realised you wasted your whole entire year and now you feel like a gigantic piece of shit!"

i didn't necessarily think that i wasted my entire 2015, but it definitely wasn't like, the best year of my life or anything. that year is still 2013. (2013 also holds the title of worst year of my life, so 2013 was pretty bomb.) i didn't waste 2015, but it definitely wasn't great. i didn't have any grand adventures, meet a bunch of new interesting people, or have any momentous life changing events, at least not that i can think of. i mostly just went to work, paid my bills, and went to the bank.

as my father put it in our family christmas card, 2015 was the year that i became "suspiciously adult".

adulthood, as told by most people in their mid-twenties, kind of looks like this.

"i paid my rent and cried a little bit. i kept up to date on my electric bill. i remembered to wish someone happy birthday on facebook. i had wine with dinner (again). and another one of my friends got engaged and i pretended to be happy but really i'm just a bitter old lady about the whole thing and honestly i'm just real salty."

2015, my 24th year on this earth, has been my first real year as a true adult, and here is what happened.


1. probably the most momentous thing that happened to me was that i moved out of my parents' house and into my first apartment with my best friend, hannah.

it's been pretty sweet.

2. i knit an entire blanket and it only took me like, five months.

3. after my coaching stint at my old high school was finished, i got a job teaching swim lessons to the public, and let me tell you, it was the best form of birth control i have ever experienced.

4. i put a bunch of three year olds in bumblebee costumes for my work's spring cocert and it was the cutest thing i've ever done. and nobody peed on me.

5. i decided to grow out my hair. so here i am, with long hair.

6. i became pretty goddamn obsessed with daredevil and drove everyone i loved in my life away by talking about it too much.

7. i got to see the dayton contemporary dance company perform in fort wayne and it was AMAZING.

8. i also met one of their principle dancers and he was pretty swell.

9. one of my poems was published in a fort wayne art magazine, so that was pretty cool.

10. while i was being all millenial and eating outside downtown and taking pictures of my feet, i met a REALLY CUTE HUSKIE PUPPY.

11. i went garage saling and came away with a really nice antique table and a fabulous framed world map.

12. i rode my bike 55 miles through ohio (with a small mcdonalds break).

13. i took a linguistics class at IPFW over the summer and i learned a LOT about the english language and probably too much about how humans make noises.

14. i turned 24, which is my favourite number, so i was pretty excited about that.

24th birthday cake ft. my mom's cool apron.

15. my brother got engaged and although i didn't witness it, i cried like a bitch when my future-sister-in-law, gracie, came home with a rock on her finger asking me to be a bridesmaid.

16. when we went wedding dress shopping, i found my own wedding dress rather unexpectedly. and i cried like a bitch then too.

17. as a true adult, i painted a canvas white with the word FUCK in black over it and hung it above my toilet.

18. i bought a bunch of adult stuff. like a microwave and a vacuum and a new bookshelf and my own car insurance and renter's insurance.

19. i spent four thousand dollars and five months FINALLY fixing the bulging discs in my lower back.

20. i accidentally got swept up in a pro-life march downtown, which was like, awkward and weird because i'm pro-choice.

21. i got a three hundred dollar standing mixer for christmas and i was so excited i cried.

22. i met ben carson. it was as terrifying as you would expect.

23. my part-time job became (almost) full-time, equipped with a two dollar an hour more pay raise. that was pretty nice.

24. i became a USA swimming certified swim coach, hell yeah.

25. i went to my first hockey game!

hannah and i were pretty pumped about it.

26. my cousin had a baby and she's SO EFFIN' CUTE LIKE WOW.

27. before wendy came into my life, i went to my first baby shower and it wasn't as weird as i anticipated it to be.

28. i went to a truck pull. A TRUCK PULL.

29. i went to a SUPER cute wedding and took my mom as my date.

30. i had a dance party alone in my room. like, me throwing my arms around wildly wearing nothing but underwear and a bra type of dance party.

31. a week later, i was sitting in an orthopaedic surgeon's office with intense knee pain resulting from said dance party. this then resulted in physical therapy, a pretty hefty drug pack, and an MRI.

33. four months after that, i had knee surgery.

i think the moral of this story is: dance responsibly.

34. my mom and i flew out to california for my cousin's wedding!

35. while in LA, we hiked to a waterfall when it was 102 degrees outside.

look how cute we are.

36. we went to see the labreah tar pits, which was pretty bomb.

37. i met this guy. i named him horace.

38. after spending another grand time being stranded on the side of the highway, i said goodbye to my 17 year old minivan that had taken me to over 33 states and on countless adventures. rest easy, crimson avenger.

39. i then said hello to my (almost) brand new 2013 ford c-max hybrid.

she's a beauty. her name is alice.

40. i spent a wonderful labour day weekend helping adam move into alma for his last year of school. we went to a lake with a bunch of friends and hijacked a plane playing grand theft auto.

41. i sang in my first homecoming concert as a choir alum. (last year i got sick and couldn't sing, which was unfortunate.)

42. i spent a great homecoming seeing old alma friends at where else but bravehearts pub? and yes, i got drunk.

43. i celebrated two years with adam, my better half. he continues to make me a better person every single day.

44. i finally met all of adam's crazy family, and they are absolutely wonderful and amazing.

45. i discovered hamilton and became irrevocably obsessed with it. ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED. EVERYONE I LOVE HATES ME BECAUSE I WON'T FUCKING SHUT UP ABOUT IT.

46. i, in fact, became so obsessed that i bought a $300 ticket and i am seeing it in june 2016. YAAAAAS. i almost cried when i got my pre-ordered cast recording in the mail.

47. i rediscovered one of my very first novels that i wrote when i was fifteen and i decided to rewrite it. it's slow going, but i'm proud.

48. i decided not to go to graduate school. which was a big and important life decision.

49. as a bisexual woman, i watched the supreme court pass a federal law making gay marriage legal and i couldn't have been more humbled and proud.

50. i lived.

a lot of people have been saying that 2015 sucked. and personally, for me, it was boring. i worked three jobs and paid a lot of bills and didn't have a lot of time to travel and see my friends. and politically, except for the gay marriage ruling, 2015 has sucked. with the rise of donald trump, the syrian refugee crisis, the paris and beirut attacks, the never ending racial tensions in our country and so many other things, it's been a dark year. i was not a happy american this year. i was disgusted many times by the senseless violence against women and muslims, the lack of indictments in the murders of countless innocent black lives, the attacks on planned parenthood, and the fascist rhetoric of the GOP. it made 2015 seem like a bad year for america and a bad year for the world.

but despite that, how can a year that produced federal gay marriage, the first black woman winning an emmy as a lead role in a drama, and hamilton, be so bad? there were many firsts, and for that i am grateful.

last night, when i went to bed at one am thinking about this post, all i could think about is how grateful i am to live the rather mundane life i lead. i might not be traveling extensively, seeing live shows, and getting engaged like the rest of my friends, but i make enough money to support myself working jobs i love, i live with my best friend in a nice apartment, i have a boyfriend who loves me even when i talk about hamilton too much, i have a loving family only two miles away, a grumpy lizard who lights up my life, and a nice car that gets me where i need to go.

hashtag blessed.

2015 has been a roller coaster, and i have every reason to believe that 2016 will be too. but even if everything goes to hell and everything gets turned upside down, at least i get to see hamilton in new york city in june.



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