today when i ate an entire meal at three o'clock in the afternoon at the weird convenient cafeteria that gives me decent grilled cheese, i ran into my friend santino and he was like, OMG EMILY YOU HAVEN'T BLOGGED and i was like, SHIT THAT WAS MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION
so first off, sorry for kind of bombing that. but we all expected it.
and second off, here i am to blog!
right now i'm in this awkward senioritis bliss/terror. i seriously need to describe this.
things emily wants to do
2. stay at alma forever
3. sleep all day
4. hang out with friends
5. order pizza every night
6. go to all my fun college activities
things emily does NOT want to do
2. leave alma
3. go to class
4. do anything school work related
5. get up before ten
6. do adult activities
today i've kind of had a best of both worlds type of day. and by that i mean that i'm doing a lot of the things on my to-do list, but i'm also doing some stuff on my NOT to-do list, and it's been this weird mix of "what am i actually doing with my life?" type feeling and honestly, i wouldn't be able to handle it if i weren't wearing my new lipstick.
basically what it comes down to is this: i don't have class this week. i mean, okay, i have choir for an hour on wednesday and friday, but seriously, that's it.
which means i can lay around my apartment and order pizza and go to my fun college activities and like, not really do anything productive. this also means that i should catch up on my reading journals and research for my two english papers.
but i decided to devote today to ADULT THINGS.
adult thing number one: get fit
after a fun saturday of lap swimming and jumping illegally on the diving team's trampoline for an hour, i was like, gee, i have like, time to exercise and stuff so this morning i got up early, put on my swim suit, and went to water aerobics.
old ladies are super cute. and they're super friendly. and they will tell you that your hair is cute and they wish they could dive into the pool like you can. they will then ask you if you're a science major here to teach the class as a part of the IPHS programme, and when you say no, you're just here to exercise, they'll look at your funny but then smile like they're your grandmother.
i still smell like chlorine. ahhhhh.
adult thing number two: resumes and cover letters and jobs oh my
so i have this RA in-service. it was supposed to be last week, and then it was supposed to be today, but now it's NEXT week. last week at our staff meeting we had to bring our resumes and cover letters for a job that we want to apply for. i wrote a decent cover letter and then just printed off the last resume that i had.
my hall director scooped it up, covered it in blue ink, and gave it back to me.
emily's respective adult grades are as follows:
cover letter: 9/10
i had to redo them for tonight's meeting. i fixed my cover letter in about ten seconds and added a few more cool things i'm doing, like my new blog for women's sexuality advocacy, which you should check out when i actually create it.
then i looked at my resume and cried for a little bit. to take my mind off of how terrible it was, i went to make a linkedin profile because sure, i'm an adult looking for a job and i should have something online that's decently professional.
the library internet decided that it wasn't my friend. i waited for my picture to load for TEN MINUTES while i did other things in other tabs, like tweet about the shitty internet and how i couldn't think of any life skills that i have. when the image didn't load, i filled in other stuff about myself, like all the cool places i've worked, which is really just my summer swim team, being an RA, and blogging once a week for the college. and then linkedin was like, "describe what you do!" and i was like "uhhhhh". and then it was like, "list some of your skills!" and i was like "twitter?"
AND THEN TWITTER WAS ACTUALLY A SKILL YOU COULD LIST.
ahhhhh the euphoria i felt. finally. someone understands me.
when i couldn't think of any more skills, i texted my boyfriend, adam, who slogged his way over from his dorm and sat underneath my carrel and told me stuff i was good at and he helped me make it sound nice. it's much better to say "proficient in multiple blogging platforms" than "i can use wordpress and blogspot decently".
then it was like, WANNA BE A HALL DIRECTOR IN NEW MEXICO?! and i was like, THAT'S NOT A THING, LINKEDIN.
when i was done with linkedin and i added some people that i knew in some capacity including a random guy that sells insurance but went to alma, i took a break and got some grilled cheese. then i cracked my knuckles and looked at my resume.
the poor thing was just... bad. like, the stuff in it was kind of somewhat decent, but mostly the formatting was just everywhere and horrible. so i had adam look at it with me. we shared my little carrel seat and he wrapped his arm around my waist like a gentleman and we vaguely searched for microsoft word templates.
didn't find any. looked online by searching for free templates.
found a cool one. got excited. clapped my hands. spent an hour painstakingly inserting all of my marketable skills and achievements over almost four years at alma college. then it was done. it looked awesome. it made me happy.
i clicked print and it was like, HAHAHAHAHA IT'S NOT FREE YOU STUPID GIRLCHILD. PAY ME MONEY.
and i was like, ARE YOU ACTUALLY SERIOUS RIGHT NOW STUPID RESUMEWIZARD?!
(in reality i said a lot of words that would have made my mother smack me. my mother is not a violent woman.)
so adam devised a plan to enter me into the adult world: he screenshot my entire resume into three different shots, put it in microsoft paint, and then lined them up on microsoft word after some cropping, swearing, and teeth gnashing.
it's still not lined up properly.
but hey, at least i don't have to pay money to stupid resumewizard. like, why is it listed as the second website when you search "free resume templates", emphasis on the FREE PART?!
a deep, online mystery that i will never solve.
so now we come to like... actual adult things, now that my resume is almost done and my cover letter is relatively legit.
this actual adult thing is called job applications.
we were told to make our resumes and cover letters tailored to a job that we wanted to apply for, even if it wasn't available. i wanted to apply for a job being a professional game of thrones watcher, but apparently that's not a thing, so i wrote my cover letter applying for alma's social media person in the marketing department. so i would run alma's twitter, instagram, oversee interns, run the facebook page, blah blah blah. blogs. blah blah blah.
SOCIAL MEDIA STUFF.
so i wrote my letter and my resume and rewrote the cover letter and the resume and then suddenly...
THE ACTUAL JOB IS AVAILABLE. LIKE, THE JOB THAT I WANT IS SERIOUSLY AVAILABLE.
so now i get to actually apply for it like a big kid! i'll be a big kid with a big kid job! working in a building from eight to five! and i would be TWEETING PROFESSIONALLY! AND BLOGGING PROFESSIONALLY!
i need to calm down. i haven't applied yet. i need to network and get like, references and stuff. and possibly actually be qualified. (my hall director says i am qualified. i don't know if that's true until i actually get my degree in april.)
the other night i had a dream that i was living in this campus subsidised house and it was all small and two bedroom and cute but also run down and nasty because most alma houses are like that and i came home from work at the college and i attempted to make myself dinner and i worked out on an exercise bike in front of my TV, which was of course streaming orange is the new black, and then i played with my bearded dragon and sent some emails and went to bed and worried about what professional clothing i would wear to professionally tweet.
if that's not big kid life, i don't know what is.
it was also the most mundane dream i'd ever had in my life.
the scariest part of this reality of big kid life outside of alma is mostly the fact that i'll have to cook for myself. like, i have a fridge and a small pantry and a stove top and a stove in my apartment, but i mostly just make myself shaped macaroni and cheese.
i am the queen of mac n cheese snarfing.
unfortunately, that cannot go on my resume. and neither can the number of TV episodes i can watch in a day. which is quite astounding.
emily: professional tweeter, big kid, and game of thrones fanatic.
hire me please.