Saturday, July 16, 2011

el caliz de fuego. you know, with voldemort.

it is an absolute crime that i have not blogged about harry potter.

i have some reasons for this.

1. i am extremely resentful that i could not see the movie at midnight like the rest of harry's devoted fans. i consider myself one of the most devoted.

2. i have been way too busy to blog about harry potter, what with work, class, and being a real person.

3. because of this business, i haven't been able to read a harry potter book in almost a month.

i am not kidding when i consider myself one of the most loyal harry potter fans. i also constitute being a fan as something slightly different than most normal people.

i do own all seven books and all six movies. still waiting on seven part one. never got it for my birthday.

i do NOT own harry potter lego sets. i do not constantly tweet about harry potter. i do not own fun harry potter artifacts (i do own quidditch through the ages and fantastic beasts and where to find them, though). i do not throw harry potter parties. i don't have a wand. i have not had the luxury of going to the wizarding world of harry potter. i don't even have fake harry potter glasses.

but i am telling you the one hundred percent truth when i say this:

i have read every single harry potter book 44 times.

forty-four times seven is three hundred and eight. that's three hundred and eight harry potter books i have in my brain. i've had nearly twelve years to accomplish this. this means i've read the seventh book forty-four times in four years. you do that math. that's reading that book eleven times in a year. i'm surprised i've had time to do this. but i manage it.

now, i might not be able to tell you specific page numbers and say, "oh blah blah is chapter five" (i can do that a bit) but i can give you teeny weeny insignificant details about everything. EVERYTHING. when you read a book forty-four times, you tend to know it pretty well. i'm pretty good at quoting stuff. i know connections to just about everything. that guy who dribbles eggs down his front in the fourth book and karkaroff yells at him? yeah, his name is poliakov. those two kids that snape yells at at the yule ball? they're named fawcett and stebbins (surnames!) and they're both in ravenclaw. the fawcetts couldn't get tickets to the quidditch world cup. too bad for them. all of those things float around my brain. i can access it all and kick your butt in a harry potter knowledge bowl. fear me.

so, i might not have a wand and dress up and go out and see the movies at midnight, but i have invested three hundred and eight book readings to this series. i don't even want to contemplate how many hours of reading those books that is. so. much. harry. potter.

and you know what, i don't get sick of reading them. i really don't. and i swear to god, every time i read them, i find something new. something i missed. something my mind hasn't absorbed yet.

but this is where my blog is really going while you're sitting here thinking, "oh my god this girl is NUTS" (and i totally am, don't get me wrong). this is where my blog is really headed. i just had to lead up to it, and i feel like i'll have done more leading than actually blogging about my subject because i just suck at blogging.

on thursday i acquired harry potter and the goblet of fire. IN SPANISH. (for a bit. it's borrowed. and that's the fourth book. you know, with the triwizard tournament and voldemort coming back to life. and you know... the goblet of fire.)

harry potter y el caliz de fuego.

now, i have only had one and a half spanish classes. i only know six of the eleven spanish tenses, and i really only know two of them well, maybe two and a half. so how on earth could i possibly read the goblet of fire in spanish?

because i know it so damn well in english, that's how.

i have absolutely plowed through this book in spanish, and it's helping with my pronunciation terrifically. i've been reading WITHOUT the english book on hand or my spanish dictionary, so i'm doing this completely solo. i'm not going to lie, i don't know half the words or the verbs, but i understand exactly what's going on because i can close my eyes and read it in english. i can close my eyes, see the page in english, and read it because hell, i've read the book forty-four times.

if i hadn't had this much extensive harry potter knowledge, i would be completely lost.

reading harry potter y el caliz de fuego is getting me spanish credit. i spend an hour a week immersing myself in the language, and now that i have this, i've spent a good five hours reading in spanish. i'm discovering new tenses. i'm rediscovering old ones that i'm not that great at. i'm learning new verbs. and i'm laughing because it's just really funny to read "la casa de hufflepuff" and "la tres escobas" to drink "ceverza de mantequilla." yeah, that's going to the three broomsticks to drink butterbeer. which by the way, is delicious, they sell it at the cafe in my college library.

so. i am over halfway done with harry potter y el caliz de fuego. when i finish it, i will debate as to whether this counts as my forty-fifth time through the book. i think i'm going to go with yes.

i have also decided that by the time i graduate from college, i will own every single harry potter in spanish. and i will read them all. and then my bilingual children can decide whether the want to read harry potter in english or in spanish.

and you thought my lion king addiction was bad.

hell yes.

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