Monday, June 11, 2012

i'm a hufflepuff, hear me roar!

this is the post where i justify being a hufflepuff.

hang on. i don't have to justify being a hufflepuff to you, to myself, or to anyone.


and at this particular moment in time, i do not care how absolutely nerdy this post is going to be. because i love harry potter more than i love life most of the time, and by golly, i love being in hufflepuff.

in accordance with the above statement, my harry potter levels of book reading are skyrocketing. and since it's summer, they're going to continue. you want the stats?

of course you do.

harry potter and the sorcerer's stone- 44 times read.
harry potter and the chamber of secrets- 45 times read.
harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban- 45 times read in english, 1 time read in spanish.
harry potter and the goblet of fire- 45 times read in english, 1 time read in spanish.
harry potter and the order of the phoenix- 45 times read.
harry potter and the half-blood prince- 45 times read.
harry potter and the deathly hallows- 46 times read.

i'll make them even. i promise. but i need all the books in spanish before i can truly do that.

i feel like i should maybe keep a tally somewhere? but i keep this all in my head. and saying it out loud gets really confusing. i should just copy and paste what i just wrote into a word document and title it 'THIS IS MY HARRY POTTER TALLY YEAH!'

because that's how i would title something.

that movie list from last night? it's called "um. these are movies i want to see."

you should see what i initially title my english papers.

but i digress. back to the wonderful world of harry potter.

speaking of that, getting off subject again, my family and hopefully my boyfriend and i are going to florida for christmas. the hopefully part applies to jacob, i'm definitely going. but my mother says something about going to disney world.

me: we've been there already.
my mother: but it was fun. we could go again.
intense silence.
my mother: we could do that.

that's basically me jumping up and down and making sucking noises like a fish out of water because i am too excited to breathe.

countdown: somewhere around... six months until we go to florida. i will not let my mother forget this conversation.


for this really long time, i liked ravenclaw. not that i don't like ravenclaw now. when i read the first book for maybe the thirtieth time a few years ago, i was like, you know what, harry was totally set up to be in gryffindor. everything is just kind of biased toward gryffindor. of course he'll be in gryffindor.

i got excited when characters like luna popped up. ravenclaw fighting at the ministry. ravenclaws stepping up.

and then i'd start feeling bad for random slytherin kids. like the slytherin fifth year that harry steps on while he's waiting for the beauxbaton's carriage in the fourth book. is he evil? are his parents death eaters?

probably not. he's just your generic slytherin. they can't all be bad, can they? i mean, for heaven's sake, SNAPE was a slytherin. sure, he had some death eater mix-ins and he totally almost but kind of not sold james and lily to voldemort (that was mostly peter.) but you know, he's snape.


i hope i just didn't make you cry if you're an avid fan like me.

but hufflepuff never gets any glory. in the first book hagrid talks about them being a bunch of duffers and harry is like, omg i'm totally going to be hufflepuff i didn't know i'm a wizard and i don't know anything about anything wow i'm eating an ice cream sundae.

and everybody in hufflepuff is always kind of soft. like hannah and justin. ernie isn't exactly soft. but he's ernie, ya know?

and then cedric came along in the fourth book and i was like, yeahhh cedric! most people were like, he's a pompous dick, but you have to remember, this is coming from harry. of course harry's going to think he's a pompous dick.

but cedric is a good quidditch player, he's good in the triwizard tournament (aside from barty crouch jr.'s help. but that wasn't his fault.) he's genuinely nice and sweet, and of course, he's ridiculously good looking when he's not portrayed by robert pattinson.

though i must say, that's the best role i've seen him in by far. seeing as the alternative role that i've seen is edward cullen.

for all this time, i had this weird affiliation with ravenclaw. i've always been kind of sort of top in my class (watch me try to be humble.) and i've always loved reading and studying and all that fun stuff. so for a long time i was like, I'M IN RAVENCLAW.

then, before all the books were even out, i was taking online quizzes. and they always put me in ravenclaw, every time.

it got the point where i knew the books well enough that i could just foil the quizzes and get into whatever house i wanted to. but when i genuinely went with my gut feeling, i was always in ravenclaw.

but there was always this persistent little voice in the back of my head that said: emily, i think you're a hufflepuff at heart.

so then i had this debate. i kept thinking, well the sorting hat wanted to put harry in slytherin and he chose gryffindor. if the sorting hat really wanted to put me in ravenclaw, couldn't i choose to be in hufflepuff, where i felt like i truly belonged? i mean, if it's good enough for harry potter, it's good enough for me.

i had this internal struggle until the age of twenty. please don't make fun of me.

and then pottermore happened.

no, i was not a magic quill hunter. i had just gotten a tumblr and was trying to figure it out, i was working, taking classes, and going to physical therapy.

i wasn't about to stay up until three in the morning hunting down a magical quill. i could reread the books instead and celebrate the last movie coming out. which i did. oh i did i did i did.

so then pottermore finally came to the public in april. during exam week.

fantastic job, pottermore team. you really helped my essay on lolita.

there were really only two things that i wanted out of pottermore: a wand and a house. now that i've gotten both of those, i haven't bothered to log back in or gain house points.

i got my wand. and what d'ya know, my wand is HUGE. that's right.

my wand is an entire inch longer than voldemort's. and has a phoenix feather.

fourteen and a half inches. it's a creative wand and good for charms work, which is nice, because my facebook says i graduated with NEWTS in charms, muggle studies, and arithmancy. when i go to the wizarding world of harry potter, i will find it my wand. and i will buy it. that's a promise.

but i was still confused. voldemort's wand is the longest wand mentioned in the books, and suddenly mine is a whole inch longer.

oh well. i'm cooler than voldemort.

and then it finally came. time for me to be sorted.

i got sorted at my library carrel, the only place that i could use pottermore on campus. i went with my heart and my gut on every single question. this sorting test was developed by j. k. rowling herself and it was supposed to sort you into your true house, where your true destiny lies. i was so excited and so scared.

what if it put me in ravenclaw? 

well, obviously, you've been reading this post.


i alerted all types of social media. i was so happy. i bounced up and down. i announced it at dinner where my friend ryan hugged me and we congratulated ourselves on being in the best. the rest of ryan's fraternity brothers (that happen to be jacob's brothers) scoffed at us. most of them are ravenclaws. so is jacob. i won't hold it against him.

but i am proud of my hufflepuff heritage. i am a hufflepuff, hear me roar!

and j. k. rowling isn't into hufflepuff bashing either. when i was greeted in the hufflepuff common room, a nice cozy room by the kitchens, this was waiting for me.

"It ought not to be concluded that Hufflepuffs are dimits or duffres, though they have been cruelly caricatured that way on occasion. Several outstanding brains have emerged from the Hufflepuff house over the centuries; these fine minds simply happened to be allied to outstanding qualities of patience, a strong work ethic and constancy, all traditional hallmarks of Hufflepuff House."

see. j. k. rowling likes hufflepuff. we're not a bunch of duffers after all.

have you seen that e harmony video where the lady cries about loving cats?

i just... i just really love hufflepuff. oh gosh, i'm crying, thinking about hufflepuff and harry potter again.

yep. i'm real cool.

of course i'm cool. i'm a hufflepuff.

1 comment:

  1. Hufflepuffs are bosses.

    The rest of the houses be hatin' on our badger swagger.