Sunday, June 19, 2011

down to zero, here we come!

for a long time, i've liked the idea of countdowns. counting down to something exciting, counting down to something that you're absolutely dreading, counting down to something.

i like the idea.

i've never really had countdowns, however. it's kind of like the thing where i have a need to be organized? i just never actually get around to having countdowns. sure, i SAY that i'm counting down to something, but if you actually ask me how many days, hours, minutes, what have you, i have no idea.

this summer, the busiest and most terrific summer of my life, i actually have countdowns, and i'm rather proud of myself for having them. i'm also a little bit ashamed because sometimes i feel that having a countdown is for lesser people who waste away their lives.

honest to god, during my last month of high school, i did not keep a day countdown. my teachers did, sure, and marked how many days until they could get out of school, just like us. i really only knew how many days of high school i had left until the very last week of school. i was more excited about my birthday. i believe that one of my largest personality flaws is my overexcitement for my birthday. it's obnoxious and i really really try to keep it under control.

the countdowns of emily hollenberg are as follows. brace yourself.


six days until leigh-ann palmer.
one day until i get my new and first touchscreen phone.
a week and half until my brother comes home to visit.
three days until spanish finals.
one week until my new spanish class (go second semester!).
exactly two months until i move back to alma.
two months and two weeks until i start alma classes.
twenty-six days until harry potter comes out. i will cry. and cry. and cry. and cry.
twenty-six days until city swim.
twenty-nine days until my job ends.
forty-seven days until summer classes end.
fifty-two days until CEDAR POINT!
one week until my parents abandon me for a week. i hope i don't starve because i do NOT know how to cook.
approximately three years until i graduate from college, move out, and officially begin my life.

i'm really trying not to focus on the last thing on this list. if i focus too much about things like... where am i going to live? where can i apply for jobs? how can i pay off my student loans? what kind of car can i afford? what size apartment can i afford? will i actually be able to move out?

if i focus on things like that, then i'm going to completely waste my last three years of college. college is about having fun, finding yourself, and becoming independent. the whole "having fun part" kind of gets lost to the winds if i spend too much time worrying about how i'm going to financially support myself.

but nonetheless, three years until the future.

the most pertinent (now that's a nice word) countdowns are really just about this month and this summer. tomorrow i get my new phone. it's about time, because i've only had one phone my whole life. i didn't even get it until i was seventeen, and it's a silly little walmart flip phone that i had for three years. i will probably have a nice blog about this later this week when i actually have my hands on my new little joy. that's been a countdown since last week when i ordered it online.

if it's not all it's advertised to be, like most of life, i'm going to cry. because i don't get a refund.

i feel like countdowns give you focus. you have a deadline. you know what you have to get done by this time, and you can plan accordingly, including intense procastination. i enjoy intense procrastination until the moment comes where i actually have to get my act together and do something. then i'm a classic procrastinator and grump about it. deadlines are nice to have. they let you know where you stand.

i also feel like countdowns can distract you. if you focus too much on how much time needs to elapse before a big event, you lose the process of getting to the event. life is about the journey, not about the destination. everybody dies, and nobody really knows where we go, so enjoy the journey of getting there.

the entire time i've been writing this, i've had the song "graceland" in my head by the new pornographers.

the first line of the song: count down to zero, to zero, are you listening?

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