Saturday, June 1, 2013

my blog challenge kind of snuck up on me. sneakily.

so this morning i woke up at four thirty in the morning completely and utterly panicked for a number of reasons.

2. i was terrified that i was about to be eaten.
3. i went to bed at three. and thus had not been asleep that long. and i wanted more sleep.
4. my dreaded twenty-second birthday was looming.

so number one.


june snuck up on me. i think that's because i spent the entire month of may bumming around england. june just kind of snuck up on me like a sneaky little bastard. and when june arrives, we all know what that means.

my blog every day in june go! challenge begins.

normally i plan this out. i make a little folder on my computer and i label it something like, "this is my snazzy blog idea folder!" and it has a document labelled "these are my snazzy blog ideas!" and whenever i can't find anything to blog about, i open it up. and i usually laugh because why would i actually blog about any of these things that i thought i could blog about.

when i woke up at four thirty this morning, a few curse words went through my super tired and sleep deprived brain, because i hadn't planned for this challenge at all. i had taken a walk with my mother and i told her that i would be embarking on this bloggiful journey for the third time (can you believe this is my third challenge? i can't either.) and that i wasn't sure what i would blog about.


my month in england was twenty-five days long. june is thirty. i had this idea that i could awkwardly blog about each day in england individually. but the days don't line up. angst.

but do you really want to hear about the day that i sat inside in my apartment in london and watched netflix all day like a terrible and ungrateful american because it was cold and raining and i really just didn't feel like taking the subway?

maybe you do. i'm not sure. i don't know your life.

so maybe i'll do this weird thing that goes like this: emily doesn't know what to blog about, so maybe she'll just be like, LOOK AT THIS COOL THING I DID IN ENGLAND.

that sounds like a good idea. it's the first day of june and i'm starting to actually plan my challenge like a responsible adult.

speaking of being a responsible adult, on a completely unrelated note, on thursday i was in charge of making dinner. as you probably know if you've been a part of my blog for a while, i do not cook. at all. so while i was attemping to boil potatoes and snap beans like a responsible adult, i put on some swing music and totally let loose in the kitchen.

it was one of those "i am dancing and now i physically cannot stop myself from doing jazz squares" type deal.

as you can see, i am not sufficiently prepared for this challenge. this post is already all over the place.


number two: i was terrified that i was about to be eaten. seriously.

so before i left for my month-long journey to the motherland, i was on tumblr. big surprise. i told myself that i wasn't going to use tumblr in england (and i didn't!) and i was getting in my quota before i went twenty-five days without it. and of course, i spotted an attractive male, british, named hugh dancy, playing an interesting character in a TV show called hannibal.

well, i couldn't just let that slide. i went to hulu.

hannibal premise: dr. hannibal lecter eats people. he's a psychiatrist. people see him and he's friends with everyone on the show. everyone eats at his house. they don't know they're eating people. will graham has an awkward way of solving crimes. he's slightly mentally unstable. this dude played by lawrence fishburne is a dick to him. they all solve crime and dr. lecter is the real murderer and he just really likes to eat people.

it was pretty legit. i watched the four episodes on hulu. then i watched the three that i missed when i got back from england.

this is how tumblr embodies hannibal, as only tumblr can.


so on thursday, i got to watch it on my ACTUAL TV. and it was one of those episodes that was like, viewer discretion is advised and i was like, aww man this is gonna be so good and in the first three minutes this woman is pulled under her bed and has her face split open.

i've had a fear of something grabbing me from underneath my bed since i was like, three. my feet were up so fast i almost screamed.

there's something incredibly different about watching people eat other people on hulu during the middle of the day than on your couch in the basement at ten thirty at night. ya know.

so i woke up at four thirty in the morning and i thought that there was a woman underneath my bed that was going to grab my ankle, pull me under my bed, and slit my throat and then split open my face. i wouldn't have minded hugh dancy snooping over my dead body, but the general gist of the situation... i was not comfortable with it.

i hope you don't ever wake up in the middle of the night and think that you're about to be dragged under your bed and eaten. it's not a fun feeling.

but if i were to be eaten, i'd like to have dr. lecter eat me. he's a fine chef. at least i'd be presented nicely and taste good.

number three is relatively self explanatory. i went to bed at three because i was talking to my good friend adam, and long conversations that go into the wee hours of the morning are the best. and this is where i'm about to get angsty.

i've blogged about odd thomas before. it's my favourite book. we all know that. (oh, i've been writing in british spelling for the past year and i've never introduced it to my blog. there it is. get used to it.) there is a new book that's come out, the sixth one, and i must get my hands on it. with what money, i'm not sure, since i spent all of my money in england on nutella and train tickets. but i was talking to adam and i realised that the odd thomas movie still hadn't come out.

it's not being released to the general public.

i went into a rage. i yelled and screamed. i tweeted about breaking beautiful sets of china and expensive instruments. then i found the odd thomas movie trailer and i thought things would be okay.


i hope to god it's one of those movies that's so much better than the trailer implies. because if the movie is anything like the trailer, they just ruined my favourite book and i will never be okay again. i mean, reading odd thomas ensures that i'm never okay again because that's the nature of the book, but i was unbelievably upset.

after releasing my angst on adam, he says perfectly calmly, "look at pictures of andrew garfield's ass."

i'm watching spiderman on my eighties TV. this seems like a great idea.

so i google "andrew garfield's ass" and i am NOT disappointed.

i'm just going to casually leave that there.

number four: june is my favourite month for obviously selfish reasons; june always means my birthday.

this year, i'm turning the wonderful age of twenty-two.

normally i'm super stoked for my birthday. i'm always way more excited about my birthday than i want to be and i think it's a really big character flaw. but this year, even though i'm still excited because i get to wear a pretty dress and it's the first day of work with my kids, i'm not as stoked as usual.

when you're twenty-one, it's like, WOOHOO I CAN DO ALL OF THE LEGAL THINGS EXCEPT RENT A CAR!

when you're twenty-two, people are like, oh i bet you just graduated from college. do you have a job lined up? do you have an apartment? do you have a boyfriend? what are your goals for the future?


no, i haven't graduated from college. i don't have a big kid job lined up. i'm sure as hell living with my parents, i no longer have a boyfriend, and my goal for the future changes about every ten seconds depending on how much pizza i've eaten.

when you're twenty-two, people expect you to have your shit together, and i am the queen of NOT having my shit together.

but i think i have my summer together. i'm coaching autumn ridge for the fifth year in a row. i'm going to start planning emma's wedding. i'm going to work out. (ha. haha.) i'm going to oregon for my cousin's wedding. i'm going to save my money to go to florida with barbara for spring break. i'm going to read a lot. i'm going to have fun. i'm going to learn to love myself after the gigantic hole that my ended relationship has left me with. i'm going to scrapbook about my england trip.

and i'm going to blog every day in the month of june.

it was a rough start. this post was all over the place, but don't i have at least one post like that during the challenge? this year it just happened to be my first post.

welcome, year three of the june go! challenge.

i hope you stick with me.

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