whenever i get back from alma after graduation (or in this case, after spring term in england) i always have these grand schemes for my summer.
i lay them out. i look at them. they're so pretty.
this summer looks something like this.
THIS SUMMER I AM GOING TO...
1. have so much fun coaching my kids for the fifth year in a row!
2. do ALL the wedding planning and be productive at that!
3. love myself and become my own woman!
4. read ALL the things!
5. teach myself braille!
6. work out and get in shape!
let's look at the things i've done.
THIS SUMMER I HAVE...
1. had so much fun coaching my kids for the fifth year in a row! (that's going for me.)
2. spent money that i don't have!
3. attempted to plan a wedding and realised i have no idea what i'm doing and i just want to plan my own! (now accepting fiance applications to make this dream come true.)
4. read one book that made me cry like a bitch!
5. sat on tumblr all day and not showered until noon!
6. watched far too many movies on my eighties TV!
i'd say that summer is going just swimmingly.
i can blame the not working out part on the fact that i tore my meniscus in march. which was like, a super long time ago, i know. but it's a two to four month healing process, and i'm heading in toward month three, and it's looking like four months and not two.
since i work outside coaching children for four hours a day, i already have a nice tan line from my world travelling knee brace, the one that went with me to england, scotland, and wales during may.
i tan really easily. like, it's kind of ridiculous. i got a tan line from my toms after climbing arthur's seat in scotland, and that day it was forty degrees, windy, and sleeting.
so today, i decided to go without my knee brace for two reasons.
1. i wanted to lay outside and get rid of that tan line. and work on the shorts tan line i've already gotten from just three days of work.
2. see if maybe my knee is actually better than i think.
i wore the brace to work this morning. emma was sick, so during our first practise, i had three lanes.
out of the four lanes that we have total.
this was totally cool. the kids were ages eleven to fourteen, so they actually understand how to listen. and they generally do what i tell them to. but in swimming, eleven to fourteen is a decent age range.
i had a girl that swam year round in lane three and a kid that literally just turned eleven like, two weeks ago in lane one.
you just can't really have a good practise when you have varying levels like that, man. but i tried. and the eleven year old kid didn't drown, i'm proud to say.
during second practise, emma and i normally tagteam two lanes of four to eight year olds. they're all adorable. this is the second year we've tackled them together. they're so much fun. they confuse our names. emma. emily. it happens.
today, i had eighteen of them. in two lanes. all to myself.
when i coach eight and unders, i have a different voice. like, my voice actually changes. it gets really high. kind of whiny. and i act a lot differently. i gesticulate a lot. i walk around with kickboards on my head. i bend over dramatically and put my hands on my hips. i walk funny. i make terrible jokes.
emma and i compliment each other well with this. today i was a one-man show, and it was exhausting to do it for an hour. but it was fun. it was super fun.
and i got a muffin after we played bubblegum.
but by the time i got in my car to head home and shower, my voice was all creaky and i just wanted to sleep.
didn't sleep. sat in my chair. in my swim suit. on tumblr. sometimes my laziness astonishes me. i need one of john green's treadmill desks. i could exercise while i blog.
I'D BE SO FIT, GUYS.
i got around to showering at noon and then i ate some lunch. i wanted to go exercise but i strained my groin for the fourth time on sunday (perfect!) and my knee doesn't allow for much exercise at the moment. so i decided to tackle my nasty tan lines and read in my backyard.
percy jackson. the fourth installment. because sometimes you just can't handle adult books all the time.
i ended up falling asleep in my backyard with my shorts rolled up.
i woke up an hour later with a pretty intense sunburn running from my feet to my hips.
there are two things weird about this situation.
1. i don't normally sunburn.
2. i was not wearing my knee brace. but the place where my knee brace normally resides was not burnt.
there is only one conclusion.
i hightailed it inside and put lotion all over my legs. i'm not used to sunburn. these really hurt, bro. i then went back downstairs to collect my book, my ipod, and my iphone. i fumbled my phone and it fell about two feets onto the kitchen floor.
not a big deal. once i was on my top bunk in my dorm room at alma and i kicked my phone out of my bed and into my fridge. i'm not sure why my fridge was open, but that totally happened one time.
took my phone upstairs. pressed a button to text someone.
dead. as a doornail. is that the expression? whatever it is, my phone will not turn on.
this once happened to me at school. my friend colin dropped my phone from the same height and it then refused to turn on. i, of course, being the anxious person that i am, completely panicked and started crying and freaking out. it was broken! my iphone! i couldn't afford to replace it!
then, a day and a half later, barbara came over and held it and it magically turned on.
barbara lives in montana during the summer. she needs to book a flight to indiana and hold my phone. right now.
during my current "let's not panic about my phone" hiatus, i got on netflix and i embarked on an epic journey of TV watching. what did i watch?
i knew the intensity of the situation. people get sucked into that show and never, ever return. it drives people insane. nobody understands the show. i had just signed away my summer to watching this damn television show.
so, of course, i live tweeted the first episode.
@emilyyxh: THAT'S BELLE FROM ONCE UPON A TIME HAVING A BABY ON A BEACH WHAT IS THIS
@emilyyxh: THERE'S SOMETHING BIG AND NOISY IN THE JUNGLE, GTFO
@emilyyxh: for the record, i think it's smaug.
@emilyxh: SMAUG JUST ATE MATT PARKMAN. which gives him the chance to be on the TV show heroes. so that's a plus.
also, dominic monoghan singing. that was pretty intense.
i did NOT get sucked into the show, by the way. it might've been dominic monoghan singing. it was pretty terrible.
but seriously. i think whatever the hell is on the island is smaug the terrible.
IT TOTALLY MAKES SENSE, THOUGH, RIGHT?
when i was done with lost, i ventured into the basement to say hello to my parents for the first time all day and to lament to my father about my sunburn and my phone being a douche. and i was all like, "look at me without my knee brace i'm doing such a good job, right?!"
then i went up the basement steps and it was like... oh.
basement steps: 1
emily's knee: 0.
so now i get to pull my incredibly tight and intense knee brace onto my leg. over my gigantic sunburn.
it truly has been one of those days.
maybe tomorrow i'll be productive. i'll attempt to call my chiropractor. (the key word in that sentence is attempt.) i'll finish reading percy jackson. i'll pick up my other book at the library.
and i won't eat cupcakes for breakfast.
but honestly, that's been the best part of my day. CUPCAKES FOR BREAKFAST EVERY DAY.