do you ever tell yourself
MAN I'M GONNA GET FIT
i do this all the time.
the scenario kind of looks like this.
i'm lying in my bed and it's some random part of the night and i can't fall asleep and then i have this great mental image.
i'm going to go the YMCA after work. (i did that for like... two weeks last year.) i'm going to wear cute workout shorts and a nice alma shirt. my butt will look great.
i'm going to be extra sweaty and bent over my bike, listening to kanye west like the bad bitch i am.
when i'm done, i'm going to do some really intense abs. and i'm going to have a cool water bottle.
and everyone will be like
damn that girl's got her life together.
and i'm going to feel good about myself and good about my body and get my life back under control.
how long does this last for you?
for me... it's like... anywhere from a week to a day.
i've had maybe... eight LET'S GET FIT! binges since going to college.
the funniest one was right at the beginning of the semester my senior year. i had a huge whiteboard across from my bed with my "to consider" list on it. the only thing on my "to do" list was andrew garfield.
I SAID HOT DAYUMMMMM.
anyway, underneath my to consider list was "GET UP AT SIX FORTY-FIVE AND WORK OUT BEFORE YOUR EIGHT THIRTY BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT YOU BEAUTIFUL FUCKER"
first day of school my alarm went off.
i laughed maniacally and went back to bed.
then my alarm went off at eight twenty and i went to my eight thirty class without showering and i sat in the back and ate a poptart.
baby steps, kids.
i worked out twice during fall semester, but i was stupid and didn't wear my knee brace and it hurt like a bitch, so i stopped.
it's not like i used to be a collegiate athlete that weight lifted three mornings a week or anything.
in march i went on another get fit escapade. it was like... GET FIT FOR EMMA'S WEDDING YO!
it worked well for a whole week.
a whole week i went to the rec centre and rode forty minutes on the bike and did back approved exercises to strengthen my abs.
and then my groin was like, hey remember when you tore me? yeah STAHP EXERCISING.
also, every time i went back to my apartment all sweaty and tired, i baked a cake.
like, i don't go on these random exercise binges to like, get skinny or anything. i do it because it's good for you and it helps with my anxiety and it makes me feel good about myself.
it just never lasts, you know?
after dinner today my mother dragged me to piloxing at the YMCA, which is like... kickboxing and pilates had a love child that no one really knows about but is super cool and makes amazing cheesecake.
it was hard, man.
i was standing in front of this smoking hot girl in AMAZING workout leggings and a really nice purple workout shirt and i'm standing there next to my mom, who knows all the moves, and i'm like, oh god what did i get myself into?
then we started punching.
if i hadn't been a swimmer, i think i really could've enjoyed boxing. even though i wasn't punching anything, it felt really good to be in a boxer stance, bouncing back and forth, and jabbing at the air to some remix dubstep music.
like, it felt great.
our instructor yelled "DOUBLE TIME! PUNCH HIM! PUNCH HIM!"
i punched a lot of men, let me tell you.
then i punched the patriarchy.
PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH KEEP THAT GUARD UP TEAR THAT SYSTEMATIC OPPRESSION DOWN AND HAVE A NICE ASS WHILE DOING IT
that's what i was thinking.
it was really fun.
i did forget to wear my knee brace, which was shitty, so when i got home i propped it up and iced it and got into some serious novel editing.
that's another post for another time.
until then, if i can survive working at kroger, i think i'll keep going to piloxing.
with my knee brace, obviously.
how long will this GET FIT FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT! thing last?
mehhhh. who knows? but it'll be fun for the next week.