it's so cute! PAINT IT.

when you're in college, walmart is your friend.

mostly because your poor as fudge.

my last semester at alma was FULL of walmart visits. it always made me hate myself a bit because my parents and i are like, super against walmart.

ya know. the whole taking over of businesses and not paying their workers fair wages and other such things that just generally aren't cool.

but when you're in college, you're poor, so it's like HAYYY I NEED BOOZE LET'S GO TO WALMART!

on a particular trip with barbara and little emily, my apartment-mate, we were going grocery shopping and i was stocking up on yoghurt. (when i mean stocking up, i mean i bought about twenty-five cups of red velvet cake flavour. because that's normal.)

barbara, who's super crafty, was like, hang on i need some paint and we went into the paint aisle. i'd never been there before except to buy like, HUGE THINGS OF PAINT to paint HUGE THINGS.

mostly sheets.

then suddenly...

little emily: OOOOOH! IT'S A WEE BIRDHOUSE!
me: OMG IT'S SO FUGGIN' CUTE OH MY GOD
little emily: YOU GOTTA BUY IT AND PAINT IT
me: should i?
barbara and little emily: IT'S SO CUTE YOU GOTTA PAINT IT

it was like, three bucks. so i bought the wee birdhouse, got some more paint to add to my RA collection, and i went back to my apartment and painted it while drinking a bottled margarita.

if you're of age and haven't discovered bottled margaritas, well my friend, YOU SHOULD GET INTO THEM.

fast forward to a week later.

i am once again at walmart with barbara, once again stocking up on yoghurt. and suddenly we find ourselves in the paint aisle. and instead of looking at paint, we'e looking at all of the cool wooden shit that they have there that you can paint. and i'm like, DUDE I JUST GOT MY PAYCHECK

and so i left with three new birdhouses of various shapes and two wooden picture frames that now have pictures of myself and barbara and myself and my boyfriend, adam.

the next thing i know, i have painting leggings and a painting shirt. every time i paint, i put them on, stretch my arms, grab a bottled margarita, and get to it.

then i was buying canvases. and more birdhouses. oh god, the birdhouses!

this one found its way onto the apartment window sill.

the ones i hadn't painted were lined up on my bedroom window sill and on my closet shelf, along with my growing paint supply.

soon i had so many colours that i had to buy a bin to put them all in.

then i got about thirty different brushes and and a easel.

soon intense painting parties were ensuing. barbara would come over and we'd paint canvasses and birdhouses together.

birdhouse count: somewhere around 15 (it's hard to remember because i gave a lot of them away as gifts)

canvas count: 12

i hung them all up in my room, too.

don't get me wrong, i'm a really shitty painter. like, horribly shitty. my first canvas painting should tell you that.

adam thinks that india looks like a penis.

AND I KNOW THAT AFRICA IS SUPPOSED TO BE TEN TIMES BIGGER. IT'S ABSTRACT, OKAY?

i made a gigantic collage of all of my paintings. i painted one red and wrote I HEART VAGINAS on it and hung it by my bed. i have a meditative dandelion and a valley with daffodils in it.

i also have a white one that says FUCK in big, bold, black letters to remind me that life isn't permanent and i can always just say fuck it and move on with my life.

i became obsessed with painting. particularly birdhouses.

i painted one and put it at my carrel. i gave one to adam. one to my friend hannah. one to my apartment-mate kait. one to barbara. one to my boss. one to my english professor. another one to my thesis advisor. i painted my mother and myself a matching set that she has on our porch.

i could not stop painting them.

i painted canvasses and hung them up all over my walls. i took pictures and stuff off of my walls to make room for them. my painting shirt was absolutely splattered in paint and i spent more time painting than doing anything else.

(including studying and writing papers. because SENIORITIS IS REAL.)

me: GOTTA GO PAINT
adam: write your english paper
me: NOPE
adam: ...

so i've discovered that painting is good for the soul. like, it SUPER REDUCES STRESS. every time that i was like hella anxious, i'd paint a birdhouse. and it made me happy that i was doing something crafty and something calming.

even if it's painting obscenities onto a canvas.

seriously though, it's so calming painting obscenities onto a canvas.

i could've picked a different random hobby. one that was probably less expensive and less time consuming.

but you know what?

i feel good about myself and i will be damned if i don't love my vagina painting.

because vaginas.