Friday, June 5, 2015

it's training time.

i used to be a collegiate athlete.

like, practice six hours a day and weight lift collegiate athlete.

since then, the only marathoning i'm good at would be binge watching netflix.

i've posted before about my workout habits. they generally go something like this:

1. lay in bed at night and think about getting in shape.
2. make a plan.
3. work out. twice.
4. bake a cake.
5. eat said cake.

now, i want you all to know that there is NOTHING WRONG with steps four and five. cake is delicious and should always be eaten by everyone. all the time.


but i was an athlete for like, sixteen years and i do miss being in shape. i just like... have no self discipline when it comes to exercising on my own outside of being a part of a sports team.

and then... it appeared on facebook.

it wasn't clickbait. it didn't try to suck me in. it was just a picture of what looked like an adult bounce house.

it was...


i've done a few 5Ks. this is saying something, because i absolutely HATE running. my mom is a runner, she used to run marathons and she still runs a few mornings a week. she made me do track and cross country in sixth grade.

let's just say it was a disaster.

in high school i did a 5K walk/run for poverty. my spanish teacher was there and she was like, "let's run this." and i was like, "senora, i haven't run more than a mile in about seven years." and she says, "it's totally fine, you can do it."

i ran the 5K. couldn't walk for three days.

i have not run voluntarily since.

i've told multiple people this: if a zombie apocalypse ever comes, i'm not running for my life. i'm going to sit back, pop in my favourite movie, and let it happen.

so why the hell would i decide to do a 5K?


you know the show wipeout?


i clicked on the link for the 5K. it's kind of like the colour run, but significantly more badass. it travels around to larger cities, and it's finally recognised that fort wayne is actually like, relatively large? but instead of running, walking, skipping, whatever, and being covered in awesome colours, you're going to climb up a TWO STORY BOUNCE HOUSE AND SLIDE DOWN. AND THAT'S JUST PART OF IT.

rather than running a 5K, i'll be running between nine inflatable obstacles. one of them is a two story slide. one is filled with moving wrecking balls. one is a gigantic ball pit.


it's a little expensive to register, but i've been really good with my money the past few months since i've started budgeting like an adult, and i've saved to register for it. i'm doing it with my heterosexual soulmate, hannah. (we are moving in together next month! blog post to follow.)

the only problem is that i get winded walking up a flight of stairs.

i might be thin, but that does NOT mean that i am in any way in shape.

there's no way that i can do nine gigantic inflatable obstacles just showing up cold and unhealthy. i mean, maybe. but... like... i don't wanna die.

"hello, i'm here for the 5K?"
"awesome. go climb that inflatable thing."

so i've started to train.

how am i training?

that's a good question.

so far i've been riding the exercise bike at the Y. i got some cool work out clothes that make my butt look pretty good. i put my headphones into my phone and watch dardevil on netflix while i ride, which is actually like, really awesome, because the whole show is like BEAT PEOPLE UP PUNCH PUNCH and it motivates me.

i've also walked around the pufferbelly trail (maybe soon i'll jog/plod it? maybe? i walk faster than i run, sooooo) and gone to a few classes at the Y. i already do a piloxing (pilates kickboxing) class with my mom on tuesday nights. last weekend we went to piyo, which is pilates and yoga, and let me tell you, it kicked my ass.

i definitely want to go back.

i have no idea how to go about training for an inflatable obstacle course. absolutely no idea.

this article is that i found about it was like "obstacle courses will test you in all kinds of ways! do you have what it takes to crawl? TO CRAWL?!"

i think i have what it takes to crawl. i probably don't.


uhhhh. i did one. once.


hahahahaha NO.

so for now, i think i'll just try to stick to a regular exercise routine. that's something, right?

if you're one of my fort wayne readers and this inflatable 5K sounds totally kickass and you want to do it, click here.

it's gonna be a good time.

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